Here is a guide to choosing a New Year’s Resolution. It’s built around and approach of connecting to yourself so you’ll have a more compelling resolution – one that you are emotionally invested in. Which makes you more likely to see it through.

Step One

Be completely honest with yourself. Don’t rationalize. Be unbiased of your motives. Your personal truths will emerge and set you free to accomplish your noblest goals!

Step Two

Accept the people, places and things in your life as they are, not as you would have them. Think on this thought: “Whenever I am disturbed, there is something wrong with me!” This is though to do, but it will help you identify what is unsettling you. And very often, what you struggle to let go of makes for a wonderful and very worthy resolution!

Step Three

Consider this question: Is your character based on how good you look or how good you are? How can serving others embody the serving of your best interests? Thinking of ways to improve your character traits through service to others is very revealing and creates truly rewarding resolutions.

Step Four

Find what you’re great at! For some this comes easily. For others it can be really, really difficult. Don’t be shy, ask a friend or someone who is “safe.” Recognizing your unique and best talent, your passions, your creativity and taking steps to support and nurture it is very probably your key to a rich and happy life!

Step Five

Get excited! Accountability is so much easier and sustainable with enthusiasm. Even so, it’s not easy which is why we’ve created Resolution Velcro. Resolutions that capture our imagination, that resonate deeply are easier to achieve, and frankly, more worthy of your precious time.

So there you have a better way to make New Year’s Resolutions. What step do you think is the most important? Which step do you think is the most difficult? I welcome your comments – and so do the other readers!

A quick search online reveals a lot of advice and tips about New Year’s resolutions, in particular making them, keeping them, which ones are popular.

However much of this advice comes from writers and not people familiar with goal setting and goal achievement and proven personal change management methods.

Many people fall into a trap year after year of making a resolution or several resolutions and then pooping out on them within a few weeks. Some resolutions never even really get going, even the same ones made repeatedly! There are a lot of reasons for this, and explaining them is part of our mission with Resolution Velcro. So without further ado, let’s start with comparing the way a typical resolution is made to a better way, the Resolution Velcro way.

The Resolution Top 10 List is not your friend. It is however, an editors best friend. I’ve submitted plenty of articles online and to print media to know for a fact that editors love lists. Their readers enjoy them, they are quick to produce, easy to proof and smack of substance. However, where’s the beef?

If you find yourself choosing a New Year’s resolution based on a Top 10 list, you’re doing yourself a disservice. We all know that resolutions have to do with change. It’s been proven that like grief, making personal changes has a clear and distinct process to it. So just picking from a list is not going to resonate with your emotional being enough for you to fully engage in that process.

Even if you have given careful thought and consideration to your choice of resolution you can still be too general or too vague to help yourself facilitate your own success.  For example, losing weight. That’s on every list, but it’s not specific enough to be meaningful. Lose 10 pounds by March 31^st is much better. It’s more definite and concrete and something you can begin to hold yourself accountable to.

Can you give me an example of a resolution you’ve made that was too vague? Now how can you reframe it using the formula I shared? Please leave your comments below!

I wonder if they had more success in keeping New Year’s Resolutions back then?

Antique New Years Resolution postcard from 1915

Why is this number so low? Resolution Velcro’s experience and methodology tell us it’s goal selection, emotional state, goal selection and accountability or support that account for the high failure rate is keeping New Year’s resolutions.

Here’s Quirkilogy’s take on making New Years resolutions stick:

Men were significantly more likely to succeed when asked to engage in either goal setting (e.g., instead of trying to lose weight in general, aiming to lose a pound each week), or focusing on the rewards associated with achieving their goal (e.g., being more attractive to the opposite sex).

Women were more successful when they told their friends and family about their resolution, or were encouraged to be especially resilient and not to give up because they had reverted to the old habits (e.g., if dieting, treating a chocolate binge as a temporary setback rather than as failure).

These simple differences often had surprisingly large effects. An extra 22% of men achieved their resolution when they engaged in goal setting, and women were almost 10% more likely to be successful when encouraged to persist in the face of setbacks.

Men may be more likely to adopt a macho attitude and have unrealistic expectations, and so simple goal setting helps them achieve more. Likewise, women might be reluctant to tell others about their resolutions, and so benefit more from the social support provided by friends and family once they have made their goals public.

Here is how they designed the New Year’s Resolution study:

Throughout 2007, Quirkology tracked over 3,000 people attempting to achieve a range of resolutions, including losing weight, visiting the gym, quitting smoking, and drinking less.

At the start of the study, 52% of participants were confident of success. One year later, only 12% actually achieved their goal.

During the experiment, people were randomly placed into one of several groups, and asked to follow different advice.